What more?

Yes. More. Live with it.

:D

*****************
Three T's



He still smells the same... Smells of tea and TARDIS and time. The body and the face may be completely different, but when he gathers you in his arms and you close your eyes he still smells the same. He's moved you through time all over again.

He's young looking. Shockingly young. Worryingly young. That good looking man in the staff room who smiled so beautifully at you, making you want things you shouldn't want with a man that could possibly be your son. He's still tall but thin, thin enough to make your long dormant mothering instinct raise its head. But his coat... His coat feels the same, though. Under your cheek. It's still rough and scratchy, reassuring. The twin beat beneath the skin still strong and steady. He still feels solid, like forever and if you don't open your eyes you could kid yourself it's all the same. Same Doctor. Same TARDIS. Same you. So you keep them closed, tightly closed as he pulls a little more at your shoulder. He lays his cheek on the crown of your head and you sigh, a 25 year olds sigh, the sigh of a woman left, fruitlessly comparing all to an original that could never be.

'I'm sorry. I'm so sorry'

You wonder what he is sorry for. For what you have just lost, or for what you lost a lifetime ago. His hand strokes your hair. You screw your eyes up tighter. You want to be 25 again. It's him, you tell yourself. It's him.

'Sarah Jane?'

It's not him. You take a deep breath and open your eyes. There is that good looking man from the staff room, all big eyes and carefully disarranged hair, looking worriedly at you. You swipe a tear from your cheek. You feel every one of your 50-odd years looking at him.

'I'm fine. Really. It's... He was all I had left'

You think you see regret flicker across his face. You see it in his eyes. You can see all his 900 odd years in his eyes. He takes your hand and tugs.

'Come on. I think we could do with a cup of tea'

It's not him, you chant. Even though he smells of tea and TARDIS and time. It's not him. It can't be him. You can't do this again.

You squeeze his hand. He smiles. You wish he wouldn't.

You can't do this again